frustration

This happened last year too, and I don't think I ever solved the problem. I bought this pre-wired fake tree because I always had tangled lights. But this one has a combination of plugs, sockets, and fuses that I don't understand at all. There aren't any written instructions. So I plug and unplug, first patiently then more and more angrily, in hopes that the top third of the tree will light up. I think it took a couple days last year, and obviously I don't remember the solution! So much for holiday cheer tonight.

Snow finally

Just when it was too dark to bear, snow arrived. Weeks later than usual. But now the brief daylight, the moon and stars, and even the streetlights reflect off and the world is bright again.

finally November

..and the dogs are in their winter coats and soon the pink ribbons on the soup cans will disappear. I wonder if I will be this angry next October.

I'm into the second week of tamoxifen and trying to get used to having hot flashes again. Only four years and 50 weeks to go. Actually there will probably be a whole new standard of care before then.

Today I made the appointment for my 6-months-after-radiation mammogram. "And are you a breast cancer survivor, ma'am?' the woman on the phone asked cheerfully.

World Series

Foggy, cold weekend - and I'm looking forward to two evenings of serious baseball.

Game One was a horror show. I kept hoping the umps would stop the game before someone got hurt. But Game Two was everything you could want in a game.

Linda has been watching the games with me. Now Linda has never shown any interest in any sport. But she has been entranced. She likes Manny, of course.

Her questions started out very basic. I had to define outs, balls, and innings, explain how many men were on a team, what was a bullpen, and so on. Linda learns fast, however, and her questions have gotten more sophisticated. Last night I had to explain the designated hitter.

Fortunatly, she became interested in the playoffs late, so I never had to explain the magic number or the wild card. (I don't understand either.) I'm now trying to keep her away from the in-field fly rule.

Cure! Cope! Heal! Mamm?

The magazine rack at the oncologist's office.

No matter how good your prognosis, never go to the oncologist's office without your own reading material. This stuff looks lethal.

false alarm

I've had a lot of pain right below my collarbone ever since I finished the radiation. Then two days ago, while rubbing the sore spot, I noticed a sizable lump on my collarbone. Maybe 3 cm x 2cm, and tender to the touch.

So now what? I've vowed never to see my internist again. Which of my three docs should look at this? My first choice was the surgeon, but although I was vague about "a new lump" I couldn't get past her vigilant receptionist. I already have an appointment with the medical onocologist for Friday. I thought it might be bad luck to present to him with a lump. The radiation oncologist - the kindest man in the world with the best office staff - agreed to see me right away.

He pointed out that the lump was outside the field of radiation. Therefore, nothing of interest. But he (kindly again) gave me an order for an xray and promised to go over the results with me immediatley.

Freaked, I called in sick this morning and went to the hospital. They did the xray quickly and handed me the film and the report.

"Moderate osteoarthritis with hypertrophy of the clavicular head".

More good news - persistent pain fopr the rest of my life and nothing lethal.

I went out to lunch, came home, and immersed myself in a Norwegian detective novel.

Across the Universe

I don't like romantic movies. Not unless they are "Wuthering Heights" with Merle Oberlin and Lawrence Olivier out on the moors.

Car chases, shock cuts, zombies, and explosions are always good. Sometimes a tidy, wry, little British movie is good. But usually my tastes run to aliens, Will Farrell, mobsters, cops, vampires, and more zombies. I watched a DVD of "Dirty Larry, Crazy Mary" tonight.

I saw "Love" in Vegas last year. The sound (which went from speakers built into the seats directly to the brain) was thrilling. Some of the scenes, with Beatles images and voices, made me cry. Others, more Cirque than Beatles, were rather annoying.

The show had me primed for more new ways to explore the Beatles' great 20th century songbook. When iTunes offered the "Across the Universe" soundtrack, I downloaded it and played it over and over.

I saw the movie yesterday and fell in love - the way I fell for "A Hard Day's Night" 44 years ago. But this time there were huge hunks of my life on the screen.

I hear the movie is a big hit with 15 year old girls. If one asked me, "Was it really like that?", I could only say "Yes, it was".